I've lost the music

I've lost the music.

There was a time in my life when I made music. I didn't make it up but I was involved in a creative process, interpretation. I was not that bad at it. I really enjoyed it.

But now it seems I've lost the music. There are certainly other things in my life to which I apply myself creatively...but I'm not as good at any of them as I was at the music.

I think some of this feeling of loss comes partially from the winter season, which right now feels like a time for me to look back and remember stuff.

It's...an empty feeling. While other aspects of my life feel full, that particular part feels empty.

I know exactly what happened. I was there for every part of it. I made all the decisions that led to where I am now. I know that some important things in my life would have suffered had I not...given up the music.

But still I mourn for it.