Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Largeness of Infinity

I'm not writing anything new here, nothing that hasn't been thought of before. But I think it's significant when a person realizes for herself what it really means to believe in a God who is infinite and creates and maintains a universe with infinite space and time.

The feeling is similar to the one that I get--fear--when I think about the fact that I must one day cease to live as I know it and enter a new form of existence--or none at all.

As a Christian, I am expected to insist without doubt that what follows life is heaven and eternal dwelling with God. However, to do this myself would constitute intellectual dishonesty. Thus, I align myself with these beliefs but cannot eradicate completely the abysmally discomforting uncertainty that must lurk behind this most comforting answer to this most fundamental of questions.

Thus...the fear. Although fear is a woefully inadequate word for this feeling. "Abject terror" comes a little closer to the feeling. "Awestruck horror"..."dumbfounded wonderment"...both somewhat helpful approximations.

What to do with the fear? I don't actually know. Probably something like...adopt a humble attitude. Spend my short time alive wisely. Keep a constant healthy respect for the infinite creator. Be open to the possibility that there is life in some distant corner of the universe, unspeakable fathoms hence.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Soft drinks

Just found out the same people who make Virgil's Root Beer make ginger "brews", I guess they're like ginger ale or ginger beer. It's a company called Reed's. I'm going to conduct some scientific experiments to determine if they become my new favorite company. But they are hereby nominated.

Friday, August 14, 2009


I was at orientation yesterday and the Dean of Students mentioned a couple things about rumors, mainly that one should not believe them. That being said, even if all rumors were false, that would not mean that rumors are useless or should be ignored.

Rumors seem to start in an atmosphere of either boredom or fear. And even boredom is a type of fear: (often collective) fear that one's life has come to a place where meaning is fleeting, where one is not content with things as they are but is reluctant to venture anything to make them better.

Few ever seem to know where a rumor begins. Perhaps this is because the beginning of a rumor is so small that one does not notice it as such. It is a pine nut, a mustard seed.

A seed of rumor grows because it finds fertile ground. A rumor can confirm our worst fears. It can incite us to anger, or shock us in ways that the truth rarely does. I find rumor in the times when those around me are in a state of uncertainty and want definite answers that might never come.

Take, for instance, the rumor circulating about Obama's birth certificate. It wasn't founded on anything reasonable; rather, it grew out of people's fear and uncertainty about how to deal with circumstances.

I've been hearing that law school, especially the first year, is a lot like high school. We will be exposed to an abundance of stress, anxiety, fear, and uncertainty. We will be exposed ad nauseum to the people in our section.

I am too far removed from High School part I to remember what it was like with any clarity, but I do remember not being very preoccupied with what is commonly referred to as drama. I think this says a lot about the school, and also about me.

I can be fairly clueless when it comes to social interaction. Now, I do notice some things that others may not, but I realized a long time ago that paying attention to le drama is like looking at lightning: it may be thrilling to watch, but only for a moment--then it goes away and doesn't matter anymore.

I don't know anything for sure at this point. I haven't even started class! But I already have fears that I will be distracted from what I know to be really important by le drama. I think in high school, I was able to shrug it off because I knew that it didn't really matter. This sometimes with thoughts of how much better it would be in law school! How ironic.

The danger is that I will become so absorbed in this endeavor that I will lose my ability to shrug it off. It is so important to me! I don't want to screw it up. I told a new acquaintance yesterday that I am in "just don't screw up" mode right now. Not even trying to be super outstanding.

I am going into unknown territory. As far as I know, there has never been a rumor circulating about me. Perhaps I was blissfully unaware, or just too boring. Either way, the feeling I have right now resembles the feeling I sometimes got when I thought about going to a big scary public high school. I got scared that there would be people there that would have their priorities so totally screwed up that I wouldn't even be able to get along with them.

Yes, it is a great big wide world out there. Not everyone is going to like me--I know that now. Astonishing but true. And there is a reason I left home when I did, to join the big scary Army and go to a big scary University. My desire for positive change, for personal growth, for new experiences, for learning, for challenge, always outweighed my fear of big scary things.

When I hear a rumor I will take it for what it is: a reflection of the fears of my classmates. It will give me information on what we are all feeling and what we are anxious about. But God willing, I will be able to sort the good information from the bad. If I'm able to do that effectively, then I will feel better about how I will fare as a lawyer, sorting through and identifying the BS and getting at the essence of the thing.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Synching or sin sing?

I've been synchronizing my phone with my PC for a while, and because of repeated exposure to something I've concluded is counterintuitive, I feel I must cast my vote on the proper spelling of the abbreviated progressive tense: Synching.

Here are three reasons why we should be synching and not syncing:

1. The pronunciation of "syncing" would naturally be "sin-sing."

2. "Synching" has been in use in print and online in the "lip synching" sense for decades now.

3. "Synching" more closely points back to the word it's abbreviating.

And here's a bonus reason:

4. "Syncing" just looks retarded.

Now, I know people would be tempted to read it "sin-ching" like they're celebrating monetary success ("I just won ten bucks at slots! Sin ching!"). They may even start classifying it as a homonym to "cinching." But I think there are enough words in the English language that use "ch" for the "k" sound, like school, archive, echo, ache, chaos... We will be ok as long as we do something about it now.

Let's get synching.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Paul Graham

I will join the consensus on the Internet and cast my vote that Paul Graham is a genius. Samples of his essays:



Monday, June 29, 2009

A slew of celebrity deaths

David Carradine (72), Ed McMahon (86), Farrah Fawcett (62), Michael Jackson (50), Billy Mays (50).
And I am not the only one to have noticed this. Gentlemen, start up your conspiracy theories...Seriously, I kind of want to propose one of my own.
They weren't really young...some had health issues, some didn't. Man, man, woman; man, man: should we be expecting another famous woman to die now?
In Robert Ludlum style, I can't really imagine a plausible theory that these deaths would really fulfill some evildoer's devious plan. Depress the American public, so that...? Plus, I think that Michael Jackson alone would be enough.
Well, my money is on a famous woman to die. Some bloggers say Elizabeth Taylor. Who knows? I won't wish it on anyone. No one should have to go before their time.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

No Uterus

So a lot of people have already blogged about this but I still think it's weird. Being born without a uterus disqualifies you from joining the Army.

I would think it a plus.